Saturday, July 30, 2016

Refuse Anything Less Than Equality

Refuse anything less than equality with your spouse.
So many of us go into relationships because we want to rescue or be rescued, teach or be taught, fix or be fixed.  All of these sorts of relationships are ones of inequality.
I decided early on to believe the truth, which was that my wife (then girlfriend) was my equal.  I decided to listen to her and refused to think about how I was going to respond until after she had finished.  I decided to speak to her before I knew whether or not I was right or wrong.  I decided to take her seriously.  I decided to take myself seriously.
In equality, we decide to let the other person be in their own process in life and with God and with others. We stop trying to change them.  We share our desires, but we refuse to make demands. We have healthy boundaries and respect theirs as well. We allow their involvement and decide to let them in but refuse to succumb to their every whim.
In equality, we refuse to rescue or be rescued, teach or be taught, fix or be fixed.  We see each other for who we really are - a mixture of good and bad - and we decide that both of us have much to offer and much to learn from.  We meet them in each and every conversation on the same level and refuse to downplay either their desires or our own desires.
We meet them as our equal.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash