Saturday, July 30, 2016

Prioritizing the Relationship

It has been said that in marraige, we must place our spouse's needs above our own. However, I disagree with this. I believe we must place the needs of the relationship higher than our needs or those of our spouse.
Here are some ways in which we can priortize the relationship:
  • Spending time together
  • Serving one another
  • Romancing one another
  • Sacrificing time for the other individual
  • Sacrificing our needs for those of the other individual or children
  • Asking them, within reason, to sacrifice their time for us
  • Asking them, within reason, to support us in our own needs for personal care - alone time
  • Taking ownership for our own needs for personal time - making them known to our spouse
  • Setting boundaries - learning to say "yes" when we mean "yes" and to say "no" when we mean "no".
  • Directly addressing wrongdoing on the part of our spouse without trying to shame them
  • Prioritizing the relationship over our children - by this I mean getting our emotional support from each other and close adult friends instead of getting our emotional needs met by our children
  • Working as a team to serve our children - meeting their physical and emotional needs
  • Taking time out for our own needs as a couple - date nights without the children
  • Honestly making our needs known, knowing they won't always get met by our spouse
  • Having a desire to meet our spouse's needs even when we aren't able to meet them
  • Taking ownership for our wrongdoings and finding a desire to accept responsibility for change
In short, prioritizing the relationship involves much more than just prioritizing the other individual.  It entails a variety of needs and desires of the couple, of each individual, of self, and our children.