Saturday, July 30, 2016

Him and Her

Rest Conv

A number of years ago, I introduced a woman I hoped to date to an older friend of mine.  I kept telling my friend about her this and her that.  She was sitting right next to me, but I kept using her.  Finally, my older friend Gerry said, "You know Steven, Yvonne is sitting right next to you.  Why don't you call Yvonne by her name?  I've discovered women are interested in hearing their name instead of her."

This took me completely by surprise.  I turned to Yvonne and asked her if this was true.  She said, "yes."  Now, I'm not certain if this is true of all women or even all men, but what I do know is that most people like to hear their name spoken out loud, and I don't think you're ever going to have someone upset with you for using their name.

Yvonne and I never dated, but I learned a valuable lesson from the two of them that day.  Our names carry the weight of identity and significance.  There's an adage which says the most popular word in any language is a person's name, and I believe this is true.  It might only be a small thing to do in one instance, but in my marriage to Sara, I always try to refer to her as Sara, especially when we are talking with other people.  This is a way I get to point to her value and worth in a small way.  However, over time, little things like this go a long way.  On a final note, I believe this is true for men and not just for women.

By the way, Sara means purity or essence, and Steven means crowned one.  Sara and I have the opportunity to bestow identity upon each other every time we say our names.

Photo by stockimages, published on 13 October 2013
Stock Photo - image ID: 100209391