Saturday, July 30, 2016


This is what the bible has to say about the decor of a woman.
Song of Soloman 1:9-11
I liken you, my darling, to a mare
among Pharaoh’s chariot horses.
10 Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,
your neck with strings of jewels.
11 We will make you earrings of gold,
studded with silver.
You were designed to induce your wife's desire to decorate herself.  You were designed to declare her beauty.  You were designed to exhibit your power in doing so.  And it is to your power that I want to speak.  If you are a man reading this, you might be wondering why you should focus so much on inducing your wife's desire to decorate herself and her environment.  The first reason is simply to do good to her because it is her need to know she is desirable, beautiful, and worth decorating.  However, the second reason is that when you do good to her in this way, then you will experience the power of God running through you.  When you induce your wife's desire to decorate herself and her environment, then you are speaking the words of God to her (1 Pet 4:11).  Whenever we speak words of identity to our wives, we experience joy and gratitude in the midst of a healthy form of power - the power to reveal her beauty.
So, here are some practical tips.  Pay attention to what she looks at in the clothing store or the jewelry section.  Ask her what she likes to wear.  Buy those things later for her.  Go dress shopping with her.  Make it a fashion show.  Tell her what you like.  Talk about this beforehand and agree on some ground rules, but don't be afraid to tell her what you like and don't like, even though you need to be sensitive.  The reality is that her desire is to dress for you and she will decorate herself in all sorts of ways if she knows that you are watching and paying attention.  It needs to be clear to her that she can always wear the things that she likes and that you hold no demands on her to wear only what you like, but that doesn't negate the fact that she wants to know what you like. 
What kind of decorations do you like?  It might be colors, styles of clothing, types of jewelry, hairstyles, or shoes.  What kind of make-up do you like on her?  What kind of perfume?  Tell her often that you think she is pretty, cute, or that you like such-and-such clothing or hair style.  She will remember and keep bringing them out.  However, also encourage her to try out new ways to decorate herself.  This is where her friends, the internet, or a hairstylst or beautician can really be helpful to her.  Encourage her to go to them to get new ideas.  Make sure she knows this isn't because she's lacking, it's because you think she's beautiful and you want her to find all sorts of new ways to decorate herself.
The other thing you can do is connect her to her environment.  Take her to a sunset, to a beautiful area outside the city, or a nice park with flowers.  Tell her the truth, which is that God created these sort of things, in part, as a way to decorate her in your presence. 
Do you understand you have the power to heal your wife's broken identity in the area of her beauty, her body, and her heart?  This is where we as men have the power to be like God to our wives- to instill beauty where beauty has been harmed and violated by real people and by culture as a whole.
Decorate yourself for your husband.
There.  I said it.
I know that you might have given up on your husband a long time ago.  You used to dress for him, but he never talked about you in the way I'm suggesting above.  So, now you've either stopped trying to dress up or wear make-up, or you still do dress up, but it isn't for him any more.  Your girlfriends comment more on you than your man, so you go to them.  I'm not saying your girlfriends aren't worth the comments, but I believe God's design is for your husband to be the primary person to declare your beauty - even though you need those feminine voices very much so.
So, what do you do when your husband isn't reciprocating?
I don't have a clear cut answer, but I do believe that dressing up for your husband has merit because it involves a type of vulnerability and courage that is worth telling the angels.  In this sense, your invitation to him is just as much about the dignity you have bestowed upon yourself, more than just the invitation you are sending to him.  

Photo by Darrin Defillo on Unsplash